Chairs Homily – September 2025
When I get up in the morning, like many of you I’m sure, I usually sit in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Over the past few weeks I have not been alone as I muse about the day ahead. There is a buzz in the air. Over the last few weeks, each day I have been joined by about ten wasps who are energised by the light. There are also about the same number of honey bees and about three hornets.
I have gotten used to my flying companions, who like to explore the kitchen, normally looking to escape to the garden but sometimes interested in anything that might be food.
Now, I am well aware that many people find being close to bees, wasps and hornets quite difficult. However, they are quite helpful creatures. The bees make honey and the wasps eat other insects, that often eat my plants in the garden. The wasps also eat the bees and the hornets also eat the wasps. So it is an interesting place for them all to come together, in my kitchen. They are very useful and fascinating creatures in their own right. Worth observing.
Unfortunately for many, maybe even you, we can only see the negative aspect of these lovely insects, that is the fact that they can sting us. For some reason, which we will explore, we seem to find it hard to get past the pain that these little insects can inflict upon our bodies.
I too have been stung by these insects in the past, many times over the years. I can feel the spectre of those painful experiences rising up in my mind; trying to relive their moment in the sun. They try to gain traction in my minds real estate. But I can make that choice. I can decide to give them space and time, let them run round and round my mind, or I can decide to let them fade away. I do not have to allow negative thoughts, memories of the past, come into and dominate the present. Meditation gives me that choice, the ability to work with my mind and my thoughts. Happiness and contentment is mind made, and does not have to be restricted by negative experiences.
Our ability to let our experience of pain, or even of predicted pain, take over our being is a trap that we can easily fall into. The sting of a wasp can be painful, but that is no reason to fill our mind with negativity towards a small creature. The wasp doesn’t particularly want to sting us. It will only do so if we threaten it, often by flailing our arms about. I have seen people go into a sort of panic attack, as soon as a wasp comes anywhere close to them.
This happens to Buddhist too, and we become overwhelmed by the Dukkha associated with an experience. This Dukkha is not real, they have not been stung yet. We are just imagining or maybe remembering an experience of being stung. But their reaction to this memory or dream, is way over the top. The Buddha talked in terms of a ‘second arrow’. The first being the actual experience, so in my example this would be being stung by the wasp in the past. But the second dart is the one that we bring to the experience. We make more of the negative aspect of the experience than actually exists. We quickly fill our minds with hatred for these small creatures, before we even come close to experiencing any dukkha that might occur.
Modern psychology has caught up a bit with Buddhist ideas, and talks about us humans having a ‘negative bias’. Put simple, this is where we tend to focus on the negative aspect of any situation and remember these. This is a bias that can help us solve problems and keep us safe. However, there are significant downsides to always seeing the negative side of an experience.
Buddhism asks us to look for the positive side, to keep the state of our minds happy and engaged, regardless of the experience.
Unfortunately, we also carry this negative view into our interactions with other people. If someone upsets us, or does something we do not like, we take offence, and put that person into our ‘black book’ of people to avoid. We allow that negative instance to take over and cloud completely our view of that other person. We fully define that person just in terms of that one negative experience we have of them. We seem unable to take a step back and see the bigger picture. To see that this person is not defined by just the relationship with us. Being only interested in ourselves, in things that relate to me. We cannot, without effort, sometimes enormous effort, take in the whole person, the whole of our friend or enemy. We are unable to see that person as a Bodhisattva would, selflessly aware of the whole person. Luckily, the Metta Bhavana meditation gives us the tools and opportunity to see this narrow view that we cling to. We could easily place the same person in all stages of the meditation. It is by working on the person we have difficulty with, that we do start to learn why we are having difficulties with this type of person, or maybe even all people.
The difficulties and negative aspects are swirling round our minds, not theirs. From just a little sting, a major storm can develop, a storm in our minds. To continue the weather analogy; it’s a depression or a tornado, that can change our lives forever, and not for the good.
I am sure you, like me, see this play out with friends and the people around you. Sometimes they are all getting along well, the best of friends and then after maybe a crossword or bad experience they are not. This is one of the siddhis or powers of the Sangha, it gives us wonderful opportunities to test and deepen our friendships.
Last month we had two Mitra ceremonies, resulting in six new mitras joining the Mitra Sangha. A beautiful part of those ceremonies is the rejoicing in the merits of the people that are to become Mitras. Imagine what it would be like if every day was like that short space of time. If we only spent our precious mind space in rejoicing in all the things around us. Good and bad, painful and pleasant are just labels we put on experience, our experience. Buddhism reveals to us that all experiences can be described as ultimately Dukkha, unsatisfactory rather than as good or bad. But before we get to that level of understanding, we must understand why we give those labels. Why are we keen to give the negative label in preference to the positive label?
This month we celebrate the great guru Padmasambhava, queller of demons and remover of obstacles. The story goes that to enable Samye monastery to be built in Tibet he removed the demons that where knocking it down every night. We can see this as an allegorical tale. It is not really about good or bad building work, but about human interactions. The allegory is pointing at us, and revealing the things we do to stop ourselves succeeding. Filling our minds with negative and unhelpful thoughts is something we all seem prone to do. It is a predilection, a bias that we need to work on. The world is full of things that can harm us, many things have stings in their tales, so we do have to take care, but we do not have to over fill our minds with the few bad experiences. We have just as many good experiences as bad. We forget that life, in this modern world is very good. It is something to rejoice in, and be grateful for, rather than something to fear. You could always start the day with a Gratitude Bhavana. Simple but effective.
When we realise that the things and people that we can view as enemies are actually our greatest teachers, then we are starting to make progress on the spiritual path. We are starting to understand the Buddha mind, a mind that only has space for love and compassion.
To finish, here are a few words of the Buddha:
“they abused me, they attacked me, they defeated me, and they robbed me.” Those who harbour such thoughts will never end their hatred.
“They abused me, they attacked me, they defeated me, and they robbed me.” Those who do not harbour such thoughts will end their hatred.
Hatred never ends through hatred; by non-hatred alone does it end. This is an eternal law in this world.
The people who quarrel do not realize that one day through these quarrels they will die, but those who do realize this fact settle their quarrels.
Dhammapada – Yamaka Vagga – The twin Pairs
So to round of the story of the stinging insects. You may be wondering why there are these insects in my kitchen? These insects have decided to set up home in my house. There are hives and nests in the roof of my house. Just as this building is comfortable and pleasant to me, I find that bees, wasps, hornets and many other creatures also enjoy the shelter that such a building can give. I am enjoying learning to share my space with all these beings, it is of great interest to watch them, busily going about their routines. I ponder that from these small creatures, over millions of years I have become. Without them, their past and their present, I would not exist.
We don’t have Mitra ceremonies this month but we do have the chance to rejoice in the merits of those that are soon off to be ordained. On the afternoon of Saturday 20th, we can celebrate the achievements of Sue and Lisa as they complete another stage of their spiritual journey.
See you all soon
Bodhivamsa
